Blackout Preacher
lyrics
[Verse 1]
I grieve, I hurt, I feel her—
She was just a lost child.
She fell into your delusions,
She was such an easy prey,
And you had the advantage of time.[Refrain]
All your cocaine ghosts…
You were the Blackout Preacher,
Screaming to Jesus in demonic wails—
Never could recall
What you had done, the morning after.[Verse 2]
Her quiet tears fell facing the wall,
Waiting it out—unsure what it meant.
The guilt made you mean,
A defense of the fiend
For what you'd take at any cost.
And they all just watched.
And watched.
And watched.
Cheering you on for the capture—
Backroom high-fives and laughter.
“Got a young whore, got her to work for you.”
Good for you, man.
Good for you.[Refrain]
All your cocaine ghosts…
You were the Blackout Preacher,
Screaming to Jesus in demonic wails—
Never could recall
What you had done, the morning after…[Bridge / Breakdown]
I held the tape recorder up—
Captured you.
I showed you what you really were.
I torched my way out.
Let the farce hang in the air.
I wore the scarlet letter.
But you knew all along, babe.
Yeah...
You knew better.
Lyrics to an unreleased song that popped into my mind yesterday and I had to dig the lyrics out. They are less flowery than I usually like to write these days but they are pulled from my life. So these are the exact lyrics as they came out on my voice note recording.
You made me cry.
It’s difficult to know what to say when someone shares their pains. I guess mostly because I don’t know what I’m looking for when I do it. This aching desire to be understood, without pity and without being made to feel dramatic. Maybe to try and prove to the herd that we shouldn’t be kicked out and that it isn’t our fault? Too big a topic.
You’re doing great.
I’m with Basil I cried when I read this and I’m not just saying that as I’m sure Basil isn’t either. This just flashed back to 2014 to 2020. So in love but like a bad drug. When it was good it was the best feeling I’ve ever had in the world. That first year so much love and laughter and then the demon came. He started flipping on me screaming I was a whore and I loved him to much and everyone in his family hates me and he knows all my guy friends want to have sex with me I would be cowered in a corner while he screamed in my face. My fairytale turned into a nightmare and I didn’t realize how I ended up there when things had been so wonderful I really thought I found the one.It was drugs but mostly ice. I knew from past relationships sadly it had to be drugs and I found it one day. I couldn’t believe again my dreams were shattered. He would never remember how cruel and awful it was and I am such a sensitive giving person he knew how to manipulate so well. I supported him financially, I took him to amazing place and out to dinner and would always bring food when I worked all night no matter what I did it was never enough. Why couldn’t he just love me like before. I would see glimpses of that man so I would be hopeful and crushed. I finally got out. What’s pathetic is I’m still not over it all these years later I’ve been in an emotional coma. He tried to contact me last year said his new relationship was over for all the same things but alcohol this time. He was losing everything and thought he could manipulate me again but he was wrong. What’s pathetic is when I heard his voice it still stirred my feelings. Sorry for the book but this just resonated so much. You should release this it would for others as well